1.08.2011

Olivia's Opinions

Hi, everybody ... it's me, Olivia!

I know, I feel like it's been at least three lives since I've blogged ... but here I am.  Genuflect if you wish.  Bowing and scraping is ok, too.  I'm considering getting a paw ring just for kissing.  And no, I don't have an inflated opinion of myself.  Why do you ask?

In any case, while I've been absent, I have not been idle.  In fact, I've been rather busy ... thinking.  I've decided that when it's my turn to blog, I'm going to share my thoughts on life, love, the best brands of catnip, and so forth.  I shall call these thoughts Olivia's Opinions.  Whatever pearls of wisdom pop into my brain ... I'm going to share them with my readers.  I know ... how lucky are YOU?  (It's ok, you don't have to answer.  It's enough that you are quietly, reverently grateful.  Don't worry, I'll know.)

For today, I'll keep it short, as I think Mom is about to lie down for a nap, and I want to make sure I get the best nap spot right next to her. In fact, I think that will be the first opinion I'll share.

Ok, here we go:

1) If your mom person is napping (or sitting or doing whatever she happens to be doing), make sure you are in the best possible position to get the best nap spot, the most pets, or the choicest tidbits fit for sharing.  Pushing and shoving is ok, as long as you don't get caught.  Hissing is acceptable as well, but biting and scratching are not.

2) If you do get caught pushing and shoving (or heaven forbid biting or scratching), simply look so innocent that the mom person will think her eyes must be failing her.  After all, if your mom person is like my mom person, she's getting pretty old.  (Mine is well over one hundred in cat years.)

This particular look always works for me:



Who me?

3) If somehow someone (such as a certain black kitten) has beat you to the prime spot on the mom person's lap, has settled down and is purring so loudly that he just HAS to be doing it to be deliberately obnoxious, simply jump up beside him, look pitiful, and thus make your mom person feel so guilty that she will make herself uncomfortable stretching really far just to be able to pet you under your chin.  And if she tries to take a picture of that purring pinhead, position yourself like so ....


See? You don't even notice ACBK in the picture, do you?  You're too busy admiring my gorgeous calico-ness.  It's ok to admit it!
... and in this way, the intial object of the photo is all but overlooked.  See?  Easy as pie!

Well, kittehs, I hope these little tidbits have been helpful to you. 

Purrs until next time (quiet, soothing, ladylike purrs),

Olivia

13 comments:

Ettel, Charlie Poodle, and Emma Pitty said...

Hiya Tucker (and family),

Charlie and I would like to thank you very much for your kind words during our rough time. It really means a lot.

And Tigress would like to add that if all else fails, walking on top of other furries, and laptops, is totally legal if you're not getting quite enough attention.

GreatGranny said...

I am admiring your calico-ness and I totally agree that anything is Ok when you want your Mom's attention. I stand between Mom and her puter when I failed otherwise. Sometimes she is so dense and can't get the hint. Nice to see you posting, Olivia.
Kassey

Mr. Pip said...

Very helpful hints! I will pass them on to my feline sister Rosie. She is already pretty good at the who me look!

Your pal, Pip

House of Carnivores said...

Oh dear. I believe that you and my kitty Charlotte have been comparing notes.

I'm your newest follower, btw!

Tucker said...

@ HOC, it would not surprise me if Charlotte and Olivia were comparing notes. These girl kitties are pretty clever that way. I suspect that they are able to communicate via mind link over great distances. How else to explain the almost universal sense of entitlement they all seem to share. And if they happen to be a calico, a tortie, or a meezer, then that air of superiority is racheted up a whole other notch, it seems. Ah, well.

We are following you guys, too, and are happy to have discovered your blog during yesterday's hop.

I'm Tucker, the resident canine genius and this is MY blog, even though I am nice enough to let the cat kids and my canine sister, Phoebe, post, too, sometimes. Just thought I'd point that out, since sometimes I think people forget.

Glad to meet you!

@ Ettel - You are very welcome. We have been very worried about you and Charlie - it's a terrible ordeal that you have all been through, and we just hope that someone can give you some leads on how to find the owner of that other dog so that something can be done. Hope Charlie is feeling better today.

@ Great Granny - Olivia says thank you for admiring her calico-ness. She is awfully proud of her pretty furs, I must say. TOO proud, I think. It's a good thing all the mirrors in the house are too high for her to see into; otherwise, she might never do anything but stare into them. Ugh!

@ Pip - Do be careful about what hints you pass onto Rosie. I'd not be surprised in the least if she didn't already know some of these things, but on the off chance she doesn't, why give her ideas on how to steal more of the attention your mom should be lavishing on you? See what I'm sayin'?

Miss Kodee said...

I see how it is. It's much the same here - I must always give Becky the "eye" to remind her to back off. See I was here first, so I want to sit higher than her by Mom. On occassion I share though because she is a baby and needs some bonding time with Mom too.

OKcats said...

Miss Olivia, we're honored to have been able to read your post! I, Fuzzy, used to live with A Certain Black Cat, but he was evil. If I dared to cross into his territory, he made me pay for it. I didn't even like for him to look at me. It's a good thing you have A Certain Black Kitten under control - you must start early with them.

Have a great week!

P.S. Our word verification was frump! hahaha

Spitty-the-Kitty said...

Olivia, I have quietly and reverently been reading your post. It is most interesting, but really does not apply to mancats such as myself who have little use for the Humans beyond accepting their services of box cleaning, toy provision and regular feeding. I do like my Human's attention sometimes, but I would never DREAM of sitting in her lap (shudder). She can pet me though. If I'm in the mood.

Brittany said...

BOL~! Just love reading your blog!

RYKER said...

Hi,
we came over from Ruth's Drawn to life.
Olivia, I must say you are a true calico. Are Calico Cleo could be you mental twin!

Tucker said...

Hi, Ryker! Thanks for the visit. We love Aussies!

Admiral Hestorb said...

Oh I LURVE your hints! I know a few of those and you really know all of the good ones!! You also made mommy laugh. She could use a laugh, MOL.

Tucker said...

Thanks, Brittany! I (er, I mean Tucker, Olivia, & the gang) enjoy writing it.

Admiral, thanks for the visit - we are happy to see you here. We've heard that you aren't feeling too great lately and the cat kids want you to know that they're purring really hard for you to feel better.

Signed,

The Mom Person